_my love for you;

Good-bye my dearest Grandmother..

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

It was a normal Saturday only that there was no drama training. I was excited for the chalet and couldnt wait to be there. The first plan i had was with Zi. We wanted to meet at 1pm at Commonwealth but then the plan changed. Kak Su(Izan's aunt) will be picking me up at about 1pm or 2pm and we will go there.. But then i recieved a phone call from Izan saying that plan changed. He and his aunt will come and pick me up at 5pm at Clementi and then we will go and collect the food. Seriously, i was pissed cause i've already got dress by 1pm. But it's ok. So i already packed my stuff and i sit on the sofa and even took a nap just to kill the time. By 430pm as i wanted to make a move to Clementi again Izan call me saying that the plan again change. By then i felt like shouting. But it's ok im cool. So he said that by 730pm he and kak Su will pick me at my place. If that's the case then im ok.

It was about 615pm when the phone rang. My aunt called and wanted to talk to my mum. Then my mum started crying and keep on asking "are u sure?""Are u sure?" I looked at my mum and asked her what and why. She was shivering. And i heard it was about my grandmother. In my mind, there's only one news that could make her react that way. Death was the answer. And yes, my grandmother pass away. At first my aunt thought she fainted cause she was talking a while ago. And so my day ended up with this tearing incident.

I called Zi and Izan saying that i cant go to the chalet due to this and i started crying. I couldnt hold my tears back anymore cause i, as a grand daughter had done a big mistake for not spending much time while she's still alive. What i did when my family reached there was first go to her room kiss her hand ask her how is she and have she eaten and then went to the living room and watch tv. What kind of grand daughter am i???

My mother, sis and me rushed there. Got to kiss her cold cheek and ask for forgiveness. Tears rolling down my cheeks fast as i look at her body laying there motionless on the bed. What have i done? (keeps on hearing it in my mind.)

I pitied my dad cause he wasnt here in Singapore to see his mother go. He tried his best to get a flight back but he will only reach Singapore at 9pm, Sunday. He must be feeling really sad.

The body was buried on Sunday morning at about 11am. Everybody had not been having enough sleep and didnt have proper meals since on Sat night till Sunday. Feeling tired and restless till today. Tomorrow, we still have prayers to do.

Al-Fatihah
Beloved granmother,
Hajjah Siti Aminah Binte Astawi
07/10/1939 - 26/08/2006
Semoga rohnya ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman.
Amin.

-Sign Off @ 2:53 PM :)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Feeling kind of lazy today. I even felt lazy to eat? What kind of person am i? Hahaha.
Dang! Tomorrow i have to go to NIE thanxs to the audio files that i cant hear clearly. Im so lazy.
After going to NIE then i have to meet Izan for to go to school to collect $$ for the chalet which is this Sat.(yey!!!) Then we're going to have a meeting.

Keep on having headaches. Haiz.. So irritating.

Aawww..today is the rehearsal for Chingay. Well, i must say that im very intersted but i dont think i can commit with all this stuff that i must handle..Im stressed up.

-Sign Off @ 2:40 PM :)

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Today...Helmi undergoing a 5 days training in the jungle(if im not wrong). So he cant call me from today till friday. Haiz..Im going to miss talking to him.

This coming Sat, i'll be having a school chalet at East Coast and i'll be back home on the Sunday.

So my schedule will be like..alot of meeting and activities.

(1) Plan games for this Sat.
(2) Business plan-deadline 12 Sept
(3) Youth Project till next year.
(4) Perjumpaan Hari Raya.
(5) My transcript files-deadline end of August.

Wow.. Can i make it? We'll see..

Anyway..Last night, someone confessed his feelings to me. U asked me whether my bf will feel angry if he finds out that u msg me most of the time yesterday. Well,i answered no(i hope not). We are working partners u know. Dont worry. We are adults and we should be working professionally.
I know from the start that he have feelings for me. From the way he treat me from the first till now. Yes it's true that i told u once that i "serik" in relationship. Yes it's true. Im still. And i thought till when right? So i thought of giving myself another chance in relationship but im being extra careful now. More careful.
Anyway,u're such a nice friend and i have to keep such a friend. U helped me alot.
Thanks for being honest with me and im sorry to disappoint u in a way. So we cleared things out and we are still friends and we're cool. So, we'll be working together alot and i hope to give the best in the job that will be given to me. =)

-Sign Off @ 3:18 AM :)

Monday, August 14, 2006

Last night went to watch fireworks @ Esplanade with hubby,my sis, Mail and his gf. Faris went to pick up his gf at HabourFront but in the end he didnt meet her. Anyway, yesterday City Hall was pack with people who wanted to watch the fireworks. Wow...i feel like Sardines. Hahaha. That's one thing. The next was people pushing one another and then u're sweating like a pig. Hahah..
But still i enjoyed myself.
After watching fireworks, we went to Marina Square. 1st mission was to look for the ladies. Then meet Amin. Then meet Faris. Fik was there but since he is riding and dont know where to park his bike, he told us to go ahead with our plans without him. And so we just hang around outside MSquare. Talking crap and jokes around. We left at 12am sending Faris 1st in a cab then us...
Faris asal kau smalam diam jer? Risau aku tgk...

Hmmm...Thanxs hubby cause u accompanied me with my friends.. Heheh. But, u should join the conversation next time.

-Sign Off @ 3:50 AM :)

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Why must u joke like that with me. It hurts alot u know. U keep picking on me and say all kinds of things. What kind of girl do u take me for??

If u really trust me then dont say that i have other guys in mind, bla..bla..bla... When i started to argue to stand up for my right, u told me "why i take it too hard..im just joking dear." What? Is this a joke or something??

After i suffered one year ago with my previous bf, i thought ya, Fizah why not give yourself a chance. U know, everything happens for a reason. Ya and so i found him. For once i thought he is different from other guys but what can i say...Boys will be boys.

Think again,hey not bad huh? I've been single for a year.. Hahah.
Anyway...hope things will get better. I dont know..Thanxs to my sis cause she always there to listen. She always tell me to think positive and take what he said was really a joke. Ok..i'll try but it's going to be hell a tough job. Hhhhmmm..Maybe i still dont know his behaviour..Maybe he really was joking but...ah forget it.. *winxz*

-Sign Off @ 2:56 PM :)

Friday, August 11, 2006

Im confused now..What should i do now??
Well, most of my friends are guys.
So my bf kind of jealous whenever i say they want to meet me.
But at the same time i cant just ignore my friends just like that.

I put myself in his shoe and for that, I understand him for being jealous. I mean who does'nt.
I hope that he understand me for being the type of person who just cant put a side friends who always be there for me.I mean...i know my friends a long time before i get to know him..it's unfair if i just ignore my friends after im attached to him...am i right??

-Sign Off @ 2:05 PM :)

Missing all

Juz lazying around feeling restless. Today i decided to repay my previous fast along with my mother. No plans for today.

Liyz was asking me whether im free today but kind of lazy lah..
Yesterday, Su-h was asking me whether im free on fri. She wanted to go cycling together. Poor her. Sorry dear im not free..

Hai...everybody seemed to have different schedule. So we have difficulties in meeting one another. I missed my friends so much. Hope to meet them.. Boohoo.. =(

-Sign Off @ 3:16 AM :)

Monday, August 07, 2006

From Helmi.

From Yanti

Enjoyed myself yesterday. After drama training meet him and went to town. Went to do some shopping.. Well actually he's the one who wanted to buy me birthday gift. I bought bikini and got one for my sis too...Heheheh...dont know when to wear that. Watched Fast and Furious Tokyo Drift with him.

Sorry to my TPK members. They bought cake to surprise me and my bro but i disappoint them by leaving early. Very, very sorry.

-Sign Off @ 3:48 AM :)

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Finally... i got a decent laptop.
My dad had repaired it for me. Thanxs dad.

Well, i must say that this year my birthday was AWESOME!!!
My dad bought us(my bro, my sis & me) a cake. Heheh.

Then,Saliza called me yesterday saying that she miss me and that she wants me to meet her under my block. Gosh...shocked to see Zira and Saliza still in their school uniform. They came under my block just to pass me my birthday gift.. haiz... so touching. Thanxs girls.
Oh and Waty also give me a gift. See..above are my gifts..

Really appreciate every single gift that i got.. Thanxs!!

=)

-Sign Off @ 11:28 AM :)

Friday, August 04, 2006

This is from Helmi. Thaxs darling.

This is from my parents. Thanxs..

And this from a cute friend of mine, Liyz. Thanxs baby!!

It's my Birthday!!!

Thanks to all who sms me at 12 am today just to wish me.

Next, i would like to wish my brother who shared the same birthday with me a Happy 24th Birthday!!!
All the best ya!

-Sign Off @ 6:34 AM :)

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Wow..what a hectic schedule i have.
I dont have the time for my ownself.
Maybe im the one to be blame for not organising it well.
Frankly, i had hard time juggling my time table.
I have to divide my time with work,school,family,drama,friends,etc.
Hmmm...u might say it's easy but try to be in my shoe.

Currently im doing my business plan.
And im not even half done. The deadline was end of July. Today is 31th July..
Damn. I dont think i can finish it on time.
Boo..hoo.

Well..
I rebonded my hair yesterday. Heheheh.
Thanxs to Waty my hair consultant.
She always make sure that i look good.
Oh and thanxs for the tips too.
*winkz*

To Faris...
Im sorry cause i didnt tell u about u know about whatlah..
Anyway..
I miss playing pool with u and hope that one day we can meet up with Fik too.
=)

Thanxs to Helmi for giving me a birthday gift in advance. He asked his mother to buy a handbag for me while they were in US.. Hmm.. so paisey.

Thanxs to all the people that care for me.(Step maner punyer popular jer. Heheheh..)
*Muackz2*

-Sign Off @ 3:02 AM :)